Hi team , I am losing one of my very close family members to cancer , I am heart broken to say the least.
I don't know who to turn to or what to do ,the situation with work also , I feel useless , and dnt know how to help my family member want to do so much , but the illness takes it toll now.
How did you guys deal with it ? I know everybody deals with things with different ways and its a hard one.
Thanks guys
Matt
Sorry to Hear this Matt.
Best thing is to get Family and Friends Support, try and stay strong.
Thanks mate just finding it a bit hard but this must be normalOriginally Posted by Penfold aka The Dealer
Hi Matt, sorry mate..
Like Pengold said, you've got to do your best to stay strong.
Your family member is obviously suffering and to see or know its seriously affecting you aswell ain't gonna help..
Just be there for them, and make sure you get support!
There's lot of support lines and help available to family members of cancer patients.
It will be tough at times but you just have to be strong and stay positive.
I lost my old man to that,
Good luck buddy..
Thanks mate it's me mum , she's so young , I'm just finding it hard ,when I'm with her I'm strong it's doesn't seem real and taking it all in is hard ,people take things in different ways , thanks for that matt
fortunately its not something ive had to deal with and can only imagine how difficult it must be for you and your family. all you could do do is try be as strong as you can for her and be there to help her and your family in anyway you can.
im sure the whole of RTOC is here to offer any support we can and if there anything we can do....
Sorry to here this Matt - It's very simple. Just be there for her as much as possible, I don't know what stage she's at, but if possible, do as many nice things with her as possible. My Gran lost her battle a couple of years ago, and we did some really simple stuff with her the 6 months before she left us, and I'm so glad we did those things.
Like I said, I'm really sorry for you and your family, you may feel useless and this is absolutely normal. If you're there for her (which you clearly are) then you need do no more. Keep your chin up for your Mum, and keep your friends close.
Sorry to hear this pal!
Must be tough, and if your keeping strong when your with her then that's really all you can do, if I was in the same position I would be concentrating on making sure she enjoys as much as she can for now.
That I'm sure your already doing
Chin up mate!
Thanks guys it is very tough , trying to handle it but finding a little hard shock , fear of the unknown etc thanks for support matt
Hi,
Try Macmillan cancer support for question etc
http://m.macmillan.org.uk/home
So sorry to hear about your mum.
Matt
Chin up dude. Hard isn't the word, I am always on the end of the phone Matt. Even just for a chat pretending to be Ali G.
Feck. Sorry to hear this Matt; you must be devastated.
Stay strong mate & try not to let your mum see the emotions you're going through - If she knows you're dealing with it (or at face value anyway), that's one less thing for her to worry about/will give her a boost as such.
Try to be with her as much as you can, and do everything possible to enjoy that time together.
Matty... sos osrry to hear of this bud.. my best mates dad, whomb is more or less my dad {took me in when homeless @15} recentlyhas been battlaling cancer, i speak to him as often as i can , he is undergoing chemotharaphy at the mo and has had a operation etc etc, you just have to be open , talk to your mum about it, spend time with her, laugh, giggle , cry , the whole shabang buddy!, like its been said there are loads of support groups , services and helplines... you could also contact mates about it..., you know my number buddy..07790069063, i may not have the powers jesus had but i have a big ear to bend, anytime,youll be amazed how many people have been affected by cancer bud, in one way shape or form. keep your chin up buddy and stay POSITIVE
Hi matt,sorry to hear this.I lost my dad to similar thing when I was 20 I'm 39 now.All you can do is be there and then do what ever necessary to get you through it,and you will.Everyone deals with things,grief especially, different, I had my way,you will find yours.t
Thanks for all the kind words guys ,means a lot to me ,can't explain it ,just say thanks for the support.
hey mate i know how ya feel my aunt in ni has servere bow cancer and has had so many ops and bits removed, 3 years ago she was given 2 months to live but shes still here, take it one day at a time boss, thats all ya can do. my thoughts and love go out to you
Macmillan by far, they will be there for anyone in the family that needs help.... Trust me, I know
So sorry to hear of your news..
Hope you get to spend some great time together
Really sorry to hear what your going through i have been through the same thing but as has been said a smileing face can put there mind at rest and maybe even forget what there going threw just for afew minutes all the best to you and your family
Hi team , I am losing one of my very close family members to cancer , I am heart broken to say the least.
I don't know who to turn to or what to do ,the situation with work also , I feel useless , and dnt know how to help my family member want to do so much , but the illness takes it toll now.
How did you guys deal with it ? I know everybody deals with things with different ways and its a hard one.
Thanks guys
Matt
not good news mate.Ill be going back over to the uk tomorrow for my aunt who also died with cancer.the worst thing about it was that she had all the drugs you can give her and help but nothing can be done for her in the end.the body was not responding to it
my mums relatives both had it realy randomly and both are 70 yrs old but got through it,as for my aunt she was only about 45 i think and not so lucky.(this is all in a space of 2yrs or so,all 3 cases)
try and keep your head up pal and try and think of the good times
Im not keen on funerals myself tbh at all.
Matt, if you're still going the curry night we'll have a chat. I lost my amazing mum 5 years ago virtually to the day so I know what you're going through. Take it easy for now mate
I am very sorry to hear this Matt - Cancer is a disease that is awful, both for the patient and the family involved.Hi team , I am losing one of my very close family members to cancer , I am heart broken to say the least.
I don't know who to turn to or what to do ,the situation with work also , I feel useless , and dnt know how to help my family member want to do so much , but the illness takes it toll now.
How did you guys deal with it ? I know everybody deals with things with different ways and its a hard one.
Thanks guys
Matt
The best way to deal with it, is the natural way - cry and release the stress as much as you can - not a 'man-ly' thing to do, but there are reasons we are designed to cry....
Having been through cancer treatment myself, this is a subject i know all to well - I am no expert, but i hope the follwing is at the very least, a little helpful!
If there is advice to offer, bear 3 things in mind -
(1) From my experience, it is often harder for the family to deal with, than the individual going through the treatment! - I say this because, most of the time during treatment, your are very pre-occupied with the treatment itself and, remembering all the oppontments and scans,bloods tests etc..........you are swept onto a 'tredmill' and nothing else seems to take more importance in your mind.
(2) Your support,strength,love and smiling face, will be a relief from the reality that is going on for your mother right now........and Andy is spot on, enjoy quality time together!......but really try not to keep asking "how are you?" - I may be wrong, but for me this question was always answered with a lie
(3) For me this was the most important - read,educate, learn,question,search, investigate as much as you can.......into the type of cancer, and the treatments on offer! - although cancers are given a generic name - they are not the same for each individual, and the different 'forms' react differently to types of treatments provided.......doctors have there provern methods, but being informed about why something is done and the type of drugs used - at the very least, give you somekind of feeling of control (did for me anyway!)
Please feel free to PM me if there is anything i can help with...........and my number is there if it was needed...........
Alex
^^^^ This!
My mum's been diagnosed with it twice in 2 years but been very lucky with the treatment (touch wood).
I didn't know what to do to or how to act around her at first in case Id say the wrong thing or something.
The Macmillan people are so helpful. And the site has a lot of good info so well worth a look and they have places you can go and chat with someone too if you need it. I only read stuff up on the site but my dad went and talked to someone and it helped him so much. Mostly because we didn't know the in's and out's of everything they did. And my mum just dealt with it a lot better than us.
Just remember you're not on your own with it, you'll have all your family and friends around who are probably thinking the same as you.
Quality time together is the most important thing in my eyes and making the most of it too
All the best dude!
My step dad who pretty much brought me up with my mum, had his prostate and a lymph node removed on Saturday as they were both cancerous.
Like you said- I felt helpless. But each time I see him, I just try to keep a happy cheery face and offer support and care. I am sure he appreciates this.
Just try to look on the positive side as hard as it can seem
Good luck with it all and I am sure many on here, Inc myself, can lend an ear if needed.
Sorry to hear about this mate, I know exactly how you are feeling...
My mum had breast cancer a few years back but luckily it was treatable and we got through it ok, very difficult time.
Unfortunately though my partners gran had cancer of the blood and we lost her just after xmas last year (beginning of this year), we took her in at our house because we have a garage conversion with a bedroom/en-suite and gave her round the clock supervision, it's extremely hard to watch. Within 2 months she went from driving her car about daily to bed bound and not eating untill she passed away, as you can imagine we were devostated.
The best way to deal with it I found is try to forget the cancer is there (I found it hard) and go about business as normal, this will take everyones mind off it. The last thing your mum would want to see is you upset so try to be strong.
I'm getting quite upset writing this and I can feel a tear in my eye so I'm going to have to leave it here i'm afraid mate. Good luck.
Chin up
Billy
Well thanks so much for your help and advice knew it would be a good to ask on here.
Lost my mum yesterday
RIP mum
Thanks again Matthew
Know it's a car forum but have many friends on here thanks again matt
Matt am so sorry to have read this, RTOC is here for you.
Matt alltough we have never met, I know how it feels to lose a loved one.
I will not lie to you yes the pain will be there for the rest of your life, the only difference time makes is that we learn to deal with this pain.
My thoughts and prayers are with Matthew & his Family at this sad time..
Rest In Peace...Ali
Really sorry for your loss Matt.
So sorry to hear that Matt
So sorry to hear this Matt. Words fail me......
rtoc never fail me, what a great bunch of people..
matt , im sure you are in the whole of the club `s thoughts buddy, whether they know you or not buddy... im sure we all wish we could do something for you...i do however know ...all of us as a club are here for you buddy...
Very True.....................rtoc never fail me, what a great bunch of people..
matt , im sure you are in the whole of the club `s thoughts buddy, whether they know you or not buddy... im sure we all wish we could do something for you...i do however know ...all of us as a club are here for you buddy...
So so sorry to hear this terrible news!
sorry to hear your news matt... thoughts are with you and your family matey
Ah Matt, I'm so sorry for you and your family. I saw your original post appear early the other morning and have been thinking of you and how to relate my own experiences in a useful way without seeming, well just whatever.
Seems that there are many on here who are prepared to do some good listening, use that. Take care of yourself.
RIP.
Think your a great bloke Matt stay happy. You have my number mate ring anytime!
Sorry to hear about this matt, our thoughts are with you.
Sorry for your loss. It is never easy loosing a loved love. My thought are with you and your family
Last edited by phase i 16 v turbo; 10-10-2012 at 12:03.
Thanks for your kind words guys means a lot just so upset and gutted must be normal ,hope my mum is smiling down
She will be mate
So sorry to hear of your sad news, may your mum rest in peace.
Sorry to hear of your loss mate, my mum passed away this year too. Time is a good healer.
Chin up matey.
Very sorry to hear this mate. Deepest condolences.
Matt
So sorry for you and your lovedones loss. My thoughts are with you and your family..
sorry for your loss all the best to you and your family in this difficult time
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