Whilst I was flying back from Berlin, sausages exploded in my luggage.
It really was the wurst case scenario......
Whilst I was flying back from Berlin, sausages exploded in my luggage.
It really was the wurst case scenario......
Been reading a boring book on the history of Glue......................I'm stuck on the second page
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption!
I went on a once in a lifetime holiday last year....Never again...
What's the best date to bring on a picnic? One who will arch her back so your balls don't get grass-stained.
not sure if will fit here but i think its funny.
my willy is so small its inverted ,do that mean im a cnut
a guy in a pub tried to sell me a photo of mt everest for £1000, I said "thats abit steep"
i went on ebay last night whilst drunk and ordered 100 cases of tippex................... Big mistake!
Originally Posted by Sparkie
Awesome!
got offered 8 legs of venison in the pub the other night for £80
i thought thats two dear
What grey , flat and cant climb up trees ?
A car park
what do you call a fly with no wings? a walk.
what do you call a spider with no legs? a currant.
got offered 8 legs of venison in the pub the other night for £80
i thought thats two dear
what do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs?
cash and carry!
Some old jokes coming up here....
Next we will see
Q: who invented fire?
A: some bright spark
Whilst at the hospital the other day i got a phone call
Caller says " my wife has gone into labour, her waters have broke & contractions are 2 mins apart"
I replied " is this her 1st baby?"
Caller replied " no i am her husband"
Man going through airport turnstile sideways, going to bangkok
My mate has just admitted he is addicted to brake fluid.
Not to panic tho - he said he can stop anytime
I told a mate I'd just spent a weekend in Poole.
He asked "in Dorset"?
I said "Oh yes, I'd recommend it to anyone"
Two snowmen in a field, one says to the other "Do you smell carrott's"!!
Do you know what I hate.....people that answer there own questions
Husband lying in bed looks into his wifes eyes and says " your like the lottery to me"
"Whys that darling, is it because im worth millions to you?" she replies
"nah" he goes "every time I see you I just wish you'd fcuking roll over "
How many screws in a lesbians bed????
None, it is all tongue and groove...
Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape! Too far okay lol
Did you know that 86% of statistics are made up on the spot
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt...
The bird was arguing with me the other day saying I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti..
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta waving..
a guy went to place an add in the local paper the other day,
the girl said "its a pound an inch",
guy says" christ iv got a 30foot ladder for sale"
Stationary shops?
They're going nowhere
Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says does this taste funny to you.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote