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  1. #1
    Non-member robbie506's Avatar
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    funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    somebody earlier as i was at the shop said he had a 5 and bored it out to a 1.8 nearly peed myself as i got in the car.

    so what have people said to you?

  2. #2
    Shifter of old Freezers djinuk's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    a lad at a tyre fitting place told me he loved r5s..

    then he asked if mine was a 1.6 or a 1.9 :P.

    Also got asked by some chav whos eyes cudnt even point straight what i had outa it, i told him about 70 but the turbo was glowing so i had to ease off.. he then gave me pointers saying i needed to put a bigger turbo on it in order to reach higher top speeds, it was funny because i convinced him i really was interested in his random crap.

  3. #3
    Non-member modfather's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5


    i had some1 ask me if my 5 was a nova

  4. #4
    Non-member markey b's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by modfather View Post

    i had some1 ask me if my 5 was a nova
    my missus always used to call mine a nova, a beige ****in nova!! heathen!!!

  5. #5
    Non-member robbie506's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by modfather View Post

    i had some1 ask me if my 5 was a nova
    not funny had that the other day 2 felt like lumpin him

  6. #6
    Non-member modfather's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    i told him it was a skoda and i drove off laughing

  7. #7
    Non-member 5alldaway's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    gotta be the superchipped comments

  8. #8
    Non-member Logg's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    A lad at my local ATS told me 5's where made out of aluminium and that's why they where so light. I spent 10 mins explaining they wasn't as we looked under my one. To which his answer was his mates was a Raider and they're different.
    Last edited by Logg; 08-03-2010 at 16:10.

  9. #9
    Non-member 5alldaway's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    through owning a 5 you realise just how full of sheet people are

    another favourite is the black raider

  10. #10
    Non-member modfather's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Logg View Post
    A lad at my local ATS told me 5's where made out of aluminium and that's why they where so light. I spent 10 mins explaining they wasn't as we looked under my one. To which his answer was his mates was a Raider and they're different.

    what a plank the gt turbo is heaviest out of the 5s kerb weight on the gt turbo is 830kg and the others are 755kg and under

  11. #11
    Moderator, Committee Trevhib's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    "Do you want me to call the fire brigade?" From a passer-by.

    I replied 'No!' Followed by a lot of swearing, I was so embarrassed.

    I was livid. I'd just set the GTT alight via an arcing battery terminal that was too close to the inner wing. It had set fire to the rubber seal just above. I was driving along with flames shooting out of the gap between bonnet and wing.

    Obviously this was my prized Ph1 and to say I was angry as I jumped out, lifted the bonnet, yanked out the burning rubber amid the sparks, threw it on the grass and disconnected the negative terminal, is an understatement. I was left with some very minor scorching to the bonnet and inner wing that wasn't visible from the outside. A lucky escape.

    That damn battery tray, clamp and oversized Halfords calcuim battery

  12. #12
    Non-member robbie506's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    thought kenobi would have posted by now where are you fella?

  13. #13
    Non-member dave r5's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    when i went to redline tuning and asked for a tune up

    he quoted me £500 to chip it and map it.

    hence to say i never went back


    (before it had the volvo lump with dta)

  14. #14
    Non-member Leigh5T's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Is it a real one mate?...........................................yes it is a real car.

  15. #15
    Non-member mr white's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    you should have got a raider they have the 1.7 16v turbo in them no wonder they guy worked at quickfit

  16. #16
    Non-member markey b's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by mr white View Post
    you should have got a raider they have the 1.7 16v turbo in them no wonder they guy worked at quickfit
    i wondered why mine was soooo fast...

    thats a joke btw... its dog slow

  17. #17
    Non-member robbie506's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    where do people get there info from if i dont know a car i dont comment on it.

    i do love it though when you shot people down in front of there little chav mates!

  18. #18
    Motech Tony Walker's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by 5alldaway View Post
    gotta be the superchipped comments
    LOL at the superchip comment but as one of my younger college friends pointed out, there is actually a "chip" on the superchips website lol. £115 i think or something like that.
    I did allways wonder if the aie could be manipulated to carry on retarding ignition timing past 14psi(i think its 14)

  19. #19
    Non-member scratcher's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    The spanner kid across fom me thinks mine is a Nova. And poeple always assume its not a GT Turbo as 'it hasn't got a colour coded kit'!

    I've had numerous people tell me about the 1.7 and 1.8 Raider models and one guy even thought nitrous oxide was an optional extra
    Oh, an MOT tester warned me it might not pass emissions because there was not CAT on the car... what a silly-billy.

  20. #20
    Non-member stu21t's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    when people find out my engines in the back, they always say,
    oh like the old williams. or like the old gordinis
    ERM NO

  21. #21
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    someone telling me he made a turbo timer from a kettle.... i wished he was taking the p155 out of me but he was just a good old fashion tw@t

  22. #22
    North East Regional Rep HULK's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Some stupid lads once came up to me and pointing at my car and laughing

    one said..." dude wheres your exhaust gone?? has it dropped off ha ha???"

    me...." dude it hasnt gone anywhere, its a side exit"

    after they all found where it was they all thought that was ultra cool and one asked if he could take photo of it with his sh1tty mobile

  23. #23
    Non-member m5tt's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Bruv is dis a r5 turbo......... ( Yes, Quite clearly it is )

    What turbo u got geeza? , how fast you gone? . You wanna raider bruv there 1.8's init . ( )

    My mate ad one of these yeh was sick well quick but crashed it ....

    Anyone else encounterd these fantastic remarks??

  24. #24
    Trader paul b's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    wasn't about a 5. but was in a 5 when it was said.....

    had just done the 5's party trick which was to muller a Ford RS Turbo off the lights.....2nd gear, GO, 3rd gear....passenger in the car went ballistic as I had just done the impossible in leaving it behind,(Ford Fan,lol)...

    he then explained how it was a work's RS with a pneumatic gearbox too, as he heard it go PISSSSSSSSH, PISSSSSSSSH between gear's......



    OUT, get out and stay OUT....lol

    BOY's

  25. #25
    Regional Rep Chris Hebden's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    When I had my chargecooler set up I got some chaved up labourer arguing with me that I needed an intercooler, because mine didnt have one! Trying to explain what a charge cooler is was a nightmare so took him for a blast and showed him it worked

  26. #26
    Non-member m5tt's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Chris Hebden View Post
    When I had my chargecooler set up I got some chaved up labourer arguing with me that I needed an intercooler, because mine didnt have one! Trying to explain what a charge cooler is was a nightmare so took him for a blast and showed him it worked

  27. #27
    Non-member dickiegtt's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    I always used to get asked, not just with the 5, has it got a turbo dump valve on it?!!! Go on dump it man, go on! And always how fast does it go..... too which i always reply with a serious face, deep breath, and a sigh, and just say quietly 'ooooo well fast..........'

  28. #28
    Non-member wrightygtt's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    I've heard most of these tbh, exmple the old dear thinks its a nova, a mechanic at a garage i used to work at thought you could super chip them, and is it me does every fcuker know someone who's had a 250 bhp 5, I've also heard "wheres Ali G" , I find it easier to not even mention owning one tbh, it never comes out the garage any way sort of like being embarrassed of a retarted mate.

  29. #29
    Non-member DaveMayGTT's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by dickiegtt View Post
    Go on dump it man, go on!
    That is the one that annoys me, and people always want to hear it at standstill and never understand that i wont rev the car that hard before its warmed up and also it hardly makes any noise when at standstill. that alone was a good enough reason to take it off, along with the pidgeon noise being far cooler

  30. #30
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    "Wow a GT Turbo, you don't see many of those now-a-days. My Mate/Brother/Mothers Uncle used to have one of these, it was WELL FAST but the headgasket let go & he got rid of it....."

  31. #31
    Non-member Logg's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by paul b View Post
    wasn't about a 5. but was in a 5 when it was said.....

    had just done the 5's party trick which was to muller a Ford RS Turbo off the lights.....2nd gear, GO, 3rd gear....passenger in the car went ballistic as I had just done the impossible in leaving it behind,(Ford Fan,lol)...

    he then explained how it was a work's RS with a pneumatic gearbox too, as he heard it go PISSSSSSSSH, PISSSSSSSSH between gear's......



    OUT, get out and stay OUT....lol

    BOY's
    Got to love that, back when I was 19 I would go Southend every weekend to upset as many RS's as I could. Thank god for growing up now.

  32. #32
    Non-member Blick's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Steve - Raider View Post
    "Wow a GT Turbo, you don't see many of those now-a-days. My Mate/Brother/Mothers Uncle used to have one of these, it was WELL FAST but the headgasket let go & he got rid of it....."
    think i had that comment everytime i pulled up somewhere pretty much!!!!

  33. #33
    Non-member MattChester's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    When I was selling my tungy h reg some nonse rang up thinking it was a raider. He thought all h reg's where raiders

  34. #34
    Non-member GTphil's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Does it have a turbo? My reply........ No, it has two!

  35. #35
    Non-member Blick's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by GTphil View Post
    Does it have a turbo? My reply........ No, it has two!
    yeah like the clue is in the name (renault 5 gt turbo)

  36. #36
    Non-member Blick's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by GTphil View Post
    Does it have a turbo? My reply........ No, it has two!
    yeah like the clue is in the name!? (renault 5 gt turbo)

  37. #37
    Non-member BriC's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    This thread

    I think the most common one I get is 'I / my brother / my sister / my dog / my goldfish used to have one of them. they're rapid mate.'

  38. #38
    Non-member SPENCER's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Nice car mate, my mate/brother/dad/grandma used to have one of them it was "well" quick.

    "How many headgaskets have you been through!? "(erm well actually none but it's been replaced a couple of times like when I had the head flowed)


    What's the top speed you've had out of it!??


    Where's your exhaust gone?


    Sat at lights or at the petrol station - "Nice Car mate are you selling it?" errrm no I'm driving it or filling it up!???


    Everyone thinks the engine is at least 1600 most think it's a 1.8 and they are shocked when you tell them the truth

  39. #39
    Non-member Kenobi's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    I heard a story about a guy called mike once and his website. That was pretty funny.

  40. #40
    Non-member dave j gtt's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    As it got a dump valve? , I think "arrrgh" NOOOOOOO and why ask me that now with the missus and she’s thinking who the ****s this random guy speaking like he’s ill.

    It’s all fun though. If you don’t know, and you don’t ask.
    Last edited by dave j gtt; 10-03-2010 at 15:27.

  41. #41
    Non-member eddie's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    yeah haha took some one out in mine spinnin up in 3 and he said wats in this 1.8 turbo no mate its a 1.4 so at to open the bonnet to prove lol get plenty like wheres the exhaust gone or i think ur exhaust as fell off or the nitrous in the back whats that a fire extisher haha prats

  42. #42
    Non-member robbie506's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    we are all saying everything we hear on a day to day basis there has to be some mad stories out there.

  43. #43
    Non-member dave j gtt's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Yeah someone fess up to driving recklessley I have in past amazinley,

    got charged with obstructing an officer and told site the story long story short i drove off i was insured and they were saying i wasnt, they wanted to impound my car i hatched a plan an escaped. never again was just spur of the moment , got arrested at home later that night, i showed all paper work to surport my case. for not having my car taken unlawfully, they took it any way , after i told them were its was 24 hours later on a bankholiday weekend hahah i had to py £105 to get it back also.

  44. #44
    Non-member robbie506's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by dave j gtt View Post
    Yeah someone fess up to driving recklessley I have in past amazinley,

    got charged with obstructing an officer and told site the story long story short i drove off i was insured and they were saying i wasnt, they wanted to impound my car i hatched a plan an escaped. never again was just spur of the moment , got arrested at home later that night, i showed all paper work to surport my case. for not having my car taken unlawfully, they took it any way , after i told them were its was 24 hours later on a bankholiday weekend hahah i had to py £105 to get it back also.

    thats great

    but how did you escape

  45. #45
    Non-member scott25's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    just speakin to a mate which of mine who also owns a 5 gt, not seen him for a while he then tried to convince me that his car ran 350bhp on a rolling road last week whilst i was looking straight at his stock turbo and downpipe and everythin else, he does have lots of chrome covers though, maybe thats were the power came from lol

  46. #46
    Non-member fidos got a raider's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Someone said to me that you can turn the boost up via the dump vavle. Plank!!

  47. #47
    Non-member JRP's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by fidos got a raider View Post
    Someone said to me that you can turn the boost up via the dump vavle. Plank!!
    wernt that you that thought that







  48. #48
    Non-member fidos got a raider's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Phil told me you said it bit he told me to keep it hush hush

  49. #49
    Committee, South East Regional Rep James5's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by fidos got a raider View Post
    Phil told me you said it bit he told me to keep it hush hush

    Phil told me the same thing he has also said jrp touched his bum

  50. #50
    Non-member fidos got a raider's Avatar
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    Re: funniest thing youve heard about a 5

    Quote Originally Posted by James5 View Post
    Phil told me the same thing he has also said jrp touched his bum

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