:)

[J$£5GTT]

Whilst I was flying back from Berlin, sausages exploded in my luggage.

It really was the wurst case scenario......

[Eugein Offord]

Been reading a boring book on the history of Glue......................I'm stuck on the second page :cry:

[The new Bill J]

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption!

[Sparkie]

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday last year.... :( Never again...

[Adam L]

What's the best date to bring on a picnic? One who will arch her back so your balls don't get grass-stained.

[modfather]

not sure if will fit here but i think its funny.

my willy is so small its inverted ,do that mean im a cnut :laugh::laugh::D

[Os8472]

a guy in a pub tried to sell me a photo of mt everest for £1000, I said "thats abit steep"

[Sparkie]

i went on ebay last night whilst drunk and ordered 100 cases of tippex................... Big mistake!

[Alastair]

i went on ebay last night whilst drunk and ordered 100 cases of tippex................... Big mistake!

:laugh:

Awesome!

[youngscottie]

got offered 8 legs of venison in the pub the other night for £80










i thought thats two dear:eek:

[andybond]

What grey , flat and cant climb up trees ?

A car park

[Sparkie]

what do you call a fly with no wings? a walk.

what do you call a spider with no legs? a currant.

[Lomo]

got offered 8 legs of venison in the pub the other night for £80










i thought thats two dear:eek:

:laugh:

[boysie]

what do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs?


cash and carry!

[Penfold aka The Dealer]

Some old jokes coming up here....

Next we will see

Q: who invented fire?

A: some bright spark

[Penfold aka The Dealer]

Whilst at the hospital the other day i got a phone call

Caller says " my wife has gone into labour, her waters have broke & contractions are 2 mins apart"

I replied " is this her 1st baby?"

Caller replied " no i am her husband"

[Bigfoot]

Man going through airport turnstile sideways, going to bangkok

[Steevo]

Man going through airport turnstile sideways, going to bangkok


:laugh::laugh:

[andybond]

My mate has just admitted he is addicted to brake fluid.

Not to panic tho - he said he can stop anytime

[andybond]

I told a mate I'd just spent a weekend in Poole.
He asked "in Dorset"?
I said "Oh yes, I'd recommend it to anyone"

[dave_gtt]

Two snowmen in a field, one says to the other "Do you smell carrott's"!!

[dangerous dave]

Do you know what I hate.....people that answer there own questions

[wrightygtt]

Husband lying in bed looks into his wifes eyes and says " your like the lottery to me"

"Whys that darling, is it because im worth millions to you?" she replies

"nah" he goes "every time I see you I just wish you'd fcuking roll over " :laugh:

[Alastair]

How many screws in a lesbians bed????

None, it is all tongue and groove...

[wrightygtt]

Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape! Too far okay lol

[Bigfoot]

Did you know that 86% of statistics are made up on the spot

[Alastair]

What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt...

[andybond]

The bird was arguing with me the other day saying I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti..

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta waving..

[BluntyR5GTT]

a guy went to place an add in the local paper the other day,
the girl said "its a pound an inch",
guy says" christ iv got a 30foot ladder for sale"

[TNT ANDY]

Stationary shops?

They're going nowhere:laugh:

[TNT ANDY]

How many screws in a lesbians bed????

None, it is all tongue and groove...

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[SCHWARTZ]

Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says does this taste funny to you.:D